


All Hands On D*ck

by psychophoenix



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Humorous Ending, It's not Stockholm Syndrome as far as I'm concerned, Kidnapping, Landlubbers beware, M/M, Pirate AU, royal au, side seho, things get a bit steamy by the end, this fic is not as perverted as my title and tags seem to imply
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25890784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychophoenix/pseuds/psychophoenix
Summary: Finding a nondescript fishing boat in the castle was supposed to be the beginning of an afternoon of adventure for Prince Jongin.He didn't sign up for pirates.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai
Comments: 17
Kudos: 61
Collections: Challenge #6 — Rise of Kingdoms





	All Hands On D*ck

**Author's Note:**

> Alternatively titled: The Pirate Solution to Mermaids is Gay Pride.
> 
> Royal AU for tiny__sparks' 6th challenge, Rise of Kingdoms but also... thar be pirates here ;)

Prince Jongin was in trouble. Granted, he was already in trouble when he convinced (read: bribed) his attendant Sehun to go out to sea with him for an afternoon of exploring in a nondescript fishing boat.

At the moment, he's in even bigger trouble. How was he supposed to know that a pirate ship was docked just off the coast of their kingdom?

Which explained why now they were being scrutinized from head to toe by said ship's captain. The captain was considerably shorter than him, yet had piercing eyes made the young royal want to sink into the planks. The ship's quartermaster, whom he heard the others call Junmyeon, was staring at them as well.

 _'Whatever happens, don't let them know who you are!'_ were the last words that Sehun had hissed into his ear before they were both hauled onboard. So while Jongin wanted nothing more than to say, "Don't you know who I am?" he kept his mouth shut.

"They're well-built." he heard the quartermaster murmur to the captain. "We need manpower after the last island anyway."

The captain nodded. His gaze slid from Jongin to Sehun and pointed at him. "Swabbie. And you," he pointed to the prince, "Cabin boy." 

Jongin couldn't help himself. "What?! What do you think you're doing, commanding us to work like common slaves?"

The captain's eyes narrowed, while the rest of the crew started to whisper and chuckle. "Do you need me to explain how pirates work, boy? Perhaps I should make you do the swabbing, instead." The captain spoke.

Sehun started at that. "No, sir. I'll do the swabbing... captain." His sideward gaze at Jongin told him to _shut up_ and let him handle it.

"No, Sehun, I would not stand for this... this mistreatment. I'm-" Jongin was cut short as Sehun swiftly hit him on the spot just above his stomach, effectively cutting off his wind.

" _Shut up_." His attendant (well, now _ex_ -attendant) hissed again. "Pardon him, captain. He's always been... stubborn."

Jongin winced as the captain smirked in his direction, dismissing everyone. Junmyeon eyed him sympathetically as he struggled to straighten himself again.

There was a loud laugh from the crow's nest, and Jongin had to squint against the sun to distinguish the figure of a tall man peeking down at them. "You've really done it, kid. Captain Soo's gonna be all up in your ass after that talking back."

"Thank you for your thoughts, Chanyeol. Go back to your job," Junmyeon called back in an exasperated tone. "You two," he nodded at Jongin and Sehun. "Come with me, I'll show you around."

* * *

Jongin has lost count of the days since he'd been forced on board the pirate ship. They've docked twice since then, but he and Sehun have not been trusted enough to join the crew on land. He idly questions if the kingdom had been searching for them. However, he also wonders if his loss had instead been convenient. His parents have always favored his younger brother, after all.

Sehun had assimilated himself into the crew more comfortably than he had, given that he'd always been used to people ordering him around. Jongin winced at that thought, as it was his own command that got them into this mess. Meanwhile, Jongin had hardly been subservient, almost always talking back to both Junmyeon and the captain. The other pirates find this funny, and Kyungsoo, the captain, simply gives him that arrogant smirk when he crosses the line.

Nevertheless, Sehun says that he's still thinking of ways to get both of them back to the kingdom. At this point, Jongin's not entirely sure that's what he wants. He'd wanted an adventure that afternoon, and he's gotten more than his fair share since. Plus, he can't stop thinking about that damned smirk.

Today was a day that the crew had been anticipating. Their sailing master, Yixing, had informed them that they were about to sail through the island of the _syreni pythonissam_. They were all gathered on deck to distribute wax that they were supposed to stuff in their ears.

"They appeal to highly impressionable seafarers with their beauty and enchanting songs." Junmyeon simply explained. "You'll have to stay below deck as well. We would not engage." he firmly added. "Only the captain will be on deck for this one."

Jongin caught the gunners share knowing looks. He briefly wondered what that was about before Junmyeon was standing in front of Sehun, who was beside him. "Wax?" the quartermaster offered with a small smile. Sehun lowered his gaze, and Jongin could have sworn that his friend had _blushed_.

Before he could process what that was, Junmyeon was in front of him, staring expectantly. "I don't need them." Jongin huffed, locking eyes with the captain, who stood behind Junmyeon.

Kyungsoo met his eyes with a raised brow before his full lips curved into that damned smirk that haunted the prince's dreams.

"And why's that so?" the captain queried.

Jongin gulped. "It's not their allure that would capture my attention... captain."

* * *

Later, when everyone else is below deck and Jongin finds himself being pushed against the mast as the captain attacks his mouth with his own, he briefly registers the haunting melody surrounding them, but that's soon forgotten when Kyungsoo swipes his tongue against his own.

"It's true what they say, then." Kyungsoo pulls back breathlessly. "You royals do taste exquisite."

Jongin shudders out a breath as the captain grinds their lower halves together. "What- you knew?"

Kyungsoo grabs him by the collar and looks up at him. "Your portrait was in the papers since weeks ago, prince. Do you still want to go back?"

"No." Jongin breathes out as he receives a nip on his neck. "If you'll have me."

"You're an insolent brat." Kyungsoo concedes. "I should have you walk the plank for all that talking back you've been doing, you know."

Jongin grips the captain's thighs and grins. "Or you could just let me... touch it?"

**Author's Note:**

> Someone's getting the booty 😏
> 
> syreni pythonissam - mermaid witches. Meanwhile, in the background, the mermaids are singing some mash-up of Zimzalabim/Catallena 
> 
> I am aware that me pirates speak too properly with not much pirate slang and to that I say... maybe there's a backstory there, hm? Could this potentially expand into a longer story? Perhaps.
> 
> Post-reveals edit: Yasss follow me on Twitter @psycho_phoenix


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